Dreambits & More

Thursday, January 6, 2011

1) I was holding a baby or a toddler, his face forward. Everything was fine until I discovered that he had wet himself and my arm that was holding him. He said that he doesn’t do this very often anymore. I took him to his mom and she looked for a diaper for him but found the bag empty, because he doesn’t do this very often anymore she didn’t bother to restock. I decided to wash him and noticed that his body was that of a small dog with white hair, now damp.

2) I watched a small creature fly into view and landed on a tree or bush in front of me, indoors, but saw that it was like a little toy bee or bird, made out of wood, the size and look of a christmas tree ornament. I couldn’t believe my eyes and had to take a closer look…

3) I was on a bus with a girlfriend and we wanted to sit together but there were only single seats available (though they looked wider than normal but still not wide enough for two). In the end we decided to sit side by side on adjacent single seats. They were at a right angle to each other.

DREAMWORK:

1) My very young masculine lost control, emotionally overflowed, though as he said, he doesn’t do this often anymore. The Great Mother concurred. No one seemed alarmed, not even me, not even when I realized that he had a dog’s body. I have accepted his animal nature, my own animal nature, in which aggression, competition, and the use of brute force is a part of, and sometimes necessary for survival. The emotional charge has been discharged?

2) Another ‘animal’ but this one man-made or crafted… Hmmm, I suppose I made it… but why? Birds and bees symbolize freedom in the most natural sense to me, innate and god-given, so this one is freedom ‘handcrafted’ by none other than myself—a little personification of my personal freedom. It’s cute, friendly, and nicely made, and it came home to light on my tree inside. But why did it look chubby and cutesy, more like a toy or ornament than something practical and streamlined, like a real bird or bee?

I think it has to do with my very recent insight about my life-long pursuit and issues with personal freedom. Yesterday I spent nearly the whole day on a kind of review of 2010, after I came across Eric Francis’ forecast (now aftcast) for each of the astrological signs in 2010. Although I was reading it a year late, it served as a retrospective reflection and comparative analysis for me. As it turned out, much of it was accurate, and moreover, several things gave me pause because I had not seen them in the light he had casted on them. My issues with responsibility was one of the things he highlighted, and the direction he pointed me to actually led me to a solution which was of course, elegantly simple and as he said, so obvious I missed it, all these years. But I did not come to this solution until this morning, when I went back and tried to answer the question I ended up with yesterday, following my ‘review’. Most likely then, this dream last night nudged the answer closer to my consciousness so I could get a hold of it this morning.

Back to the dream… the creature appeared like a toy or ornament, something childish or merely decorative, instead of the real thing, because that was the perspective with which I saw my issue with personal freedom/fear of being trapped/aversion to responsibility/etc. – through the eyes of a child. The child who was first ‘traumatized’ by having to assume responsibilities she did not want, but was powerless to protect her rights to be a child. And even though this wound is largely healed now, I had somehow forgotten to let go of the emotional charge, leaving the old button lying around to be pushed.

It still awes me to see how these insights came about, in a back-reaching, serpentine detour, and somehow still brought me to the same point of realization had I worked on this dream before trying to answer yesterday’s question of how to heal the child that I was. This would mean that if I had been able to find the answer yesterday, I wouldn’t have had this dream last night, most probably… All roads lead to Rome, or home… and I am grateful.

Another thing I just twigged to is the disbelief I felt at seeing an impossible feat, like a flying wooden bee/bird, or when Pinocchio came to life. (I may have made it but I did not give it life.) The only explanation acceptable is that it’s magic, divinely willed and manifested. This was how I felt too, yesterday when I was given the gift of insight and healing, and profound relief, with this old issue which stemmed from childhood. The whole process was like a seamless play, every part in place and on cue, that it could only have been directed and produced by Creativity itself.

3) My shadow and I are good friends now, openly so, and we do not want to be apart, particularly going where our society is taking us (bus as public transportation, drive, trend). But the Greater Life does not wish for us to sit side by side, perhaps then we would become too comfortable with each other, and in that complacency become less aware of more important things. Sitting at right angle to each other means one of us, me, is always looking at the other, my shadow, mostly in profile, unless she turns her face towards me. But neither of us is facing the front of the bus, looking into what’s ahead, which is just as well. Our lesson is in the present.

Keep my eyes on where my greatest lesson and growth is. Stay present.
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